a tough lesson

I just recently told the love of my life that it was over. I thought I would hurt, I thought I would cry, that I'd feel something, maybe want to shrivel up and die? But instead I feel nothing. Not happiness, nor saddness or pain or regret. I feel nothing. I'm numb,I'm in a place that cannot be reached, one that we float off to and aren't sure if we will come back from. It's like being in limbo just very much alive.I wanted him to just say I hate you and never call again, but he isn't that way, and wants to be my friend. I am a regret in his life, he told me so himself, and yet all I can seem to muster is that I feel bad that he looks at me that way, only because I, myself look at us in the light that should be shown on our relationship. it was good, for a while, and when it was good, it was the best there could ever have been between two people--ever. So I'm sitting here with nothing. and let me tell you what, it's only when you have "nothing" by your side that you truly realize what "nothing" is.