What I'm about to type, I never thought I would admit. I'm afraid...to be out here, to live alone, to actually start life, and attempt to live the path I have chosen, with all it's ups and downs and criticism and sometimes I'd imagine, lonliness... I just realized that today, as I took in for the first time, that my real friends, the ones Ihave relyed on for the past three and a half years, (no matter how psycho she may be ....lol) are leaving me, and unless i go with things will never be the same. I'm so happy that I'm starting a new chapter, but so sad to see them go....but that's life and it must change so we can learn and grow.
I'm planning on starting to study my cards and their meanings in depth the day after I move. I'm going to be dedicated to going to school, for that degree, and also my buisness degree, if I can accomplish both of them in a year and a half, while working, it will be a very BIG thing for me, then I think I'll let myself go home for a while. I don't want to go back empty handed, I know momma and daddy wont care, and they'll just be happy to see me, but I still have something to prove, more to me than anyone else I guess. The gods are knocing on my door, if i can open it and listen instead of talk, well then I think I'll be ok. I think I'm gonna go back to the gym again, or start biking or running at least, to lose the weight I have gained.....so this "new life" part of my life will be hectic and busy....just the way I like it....most of the time anyhow.
No comments:
Post a Comment