mercury in its rightful place

Thank god! mercury is out of retrograde and back to its normal self once again. I for one amglad that is over, its been a dreadful couple of weeks dealing with the bullshit mercury deals out. so today i say, Carpe Diem. and good luck to everyone that mercury's fit of backtracking has rendered communication-less for a while.

dreamer

Well, a lot has happened so far this week. It hasn't been so great either. Lets see, my shipping is all messed up, i revisited two events that I rather would not have, bringng back memories and flashes that need to stay covered forever. I'm growing in the gifts that are bestowed on me, not liking it too much though. And boys, God , where do I start? I don't know what is cosmicly wrong with my life right now, other than, well, EVERYTHING. he's going home, which i thought was good, at least we'd be closer, and the chance of something between us would be greater. i had to ask myself then, is his home where i'm going after i am at mine for however long i'm there? and then i kick myself and say "self, don't be stupid, you are a notch on his belt, he'll forget you exist and anyways, he's just trying to play you." but the dreamer part of me doesnt want to listen to reason, or common sense, and I want him to be my knight in shining armor, my tower, my love, the "one" and we'll ride away together in each other's arms and live happily ever after. and then, zip, back to reality for me, and knowing somehow that no matter how it ends, that it must. Sometimes I hate being a dreamer, it leads me astray, and wills me to live in a fantasy place, full of beauty and wonder, and unreal, or untrue things. But, it's me i guess.

faith is a journey.

Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip.

That's the little saying on my new bumper sticker. I think it's the truest thing that I have ever read. A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to tell you that this, is a fact of life. I would have made mention that faith is just that, faith, not a trip of any kind, because I (sadly) was narrow minded to think that only my religion was best, and crazy enough to believe that there wasn't anything out there other than that. Now, on the other hand, I have to say that, I was wrong, there are so many many more things out there that faith is what you believe in, yes, but a journey nontheless because you learn and grow in faith by every situation that presents itsself to you, and anyone who disagrees with you shouldn't be giving you a hard time, but instead respect the decision you have made to follow whatever that is that you have chosen, and not guilt you into something that isn't you, that you don't want to do. I've come a long way from who i was, and every step has made me stronger, more determined than ever, and glad. Glad for those people who helped open my eyes to the possiblities that there can be more out there than you were taught, that just because you flow the opposite way of everyone else, you don't have to be ashamed. That sometimes being different is a good thing, that differences make us who we are and who we will become, help us fullfill our destiny. And even though i'm not sure what mine is yet, I know that I will beleive what I will, and no one, will make me feel bad for honoring and believing in everything good in life.