unbelievable pt2

so for the past two months i have been struggeling with my car, getting it regerstered and whatnot, then on saturday, i get a call saying that my bank does not work with the tag place i went to. even though they are legit and connected directly to harrisburg they wouldn't do it. so then i got pissed and told them how fucking stupid this whole thing is, and that I cant beleive it took them four freakin weeks to tell me what should have been said when I first inquired about it. I hung up and chucked the phone on the other side of the room (for all of you who know me, that's quite a normal reaction when someone on the phone pisses me off) i put my coat on and went outside, and since i was blinded by my maddness, i didn't think too clearly when i swept the snow off of it and used my arm instead of a brush....well needless to say, my elbow is having issues functioning now. WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL MESSED UP LIFE. I saw another black cat today, it crossed my path and turned to look at me, very similar to the first one I saw earlier this month. everyone says black cats are bad omens, in this case nothing but good things have happened to me, i'm wondering if a cat isn't my spirit guide. if anyone has any info in ways that cats are good, please let meknow, it seems the information highway has all the information you could ever want, until you need something, and then you can't find it no matter how hard or long you look. Its good to be writing again!

unbelievable!

I refuse to give this anymore energy, bad-wise anyhow, but i need it off my chest so when it's here, i'm done with it. no more thoughts or feelings towards the subject until the place and time comes into affect. So, this guy is older than me, but i love him, am in love with him and will do whatever it takes to be with him, he even wants to marry me! but my thoughts are connected to my parents, what if they don't like him, tell him to leave and don't want to accept him? now i love him, so i am going to be with him regardless of what their theories are, but how can i handle that strong of rejection? So what I am hoping for is the best, and what i'm expecting is the worst, and somewhere in between i will be pleasently surprised. that's it, i won't think on this any further until the day comes for him to meet them. i'm done with it.

weirdness

I had a dream the other night, I was livining my life and this guy came up to me, I was going to die soon he knew, and handed me logic puzzels, he said that when the last one was understood and completed that only then would I die. I was scared and said bull shit, I just won't finish them all, then I'll never die. I found mom and told her not to work on them, b/c I know she would have them all done in minutes. then I wake up.

it's the strangest dream, I am having a hard time grasping what exactly it may mean, if it's not another story plot for a story spirit has in mind. other than that i am lost.

emapthy vs sympathy

Empathy- to feel the emotions of another
Sympathy- to understand and nurture the emotions of another

when you need empathy and someone gives you sympathy what's the point? I don't want sympathy for a pathetic situation, I want empathy so that someone truly feels and understands that I need to talk too, not just listen to them. but then i was cursed with this blasted listening gene. That's ok I guess, but my question is, if you are an empath can you feel those emotions so strongly that just a phone line connection can cause you to be in pain as the other person is? This new lil empath thing I have going on really freakin sucks. So how do I control it, if I can at all?