Sensory Overload

Ok, where to start today...
I have been hit with so many things today, my brain is still processing! Let's see, first, I must say that I talked to my dad today, and it was really good to hear his voice, not opinion so much, cuause he told me i needed to go to church more...lol go figure. But it went really well anyway. I also talked to a guy that I haven't seen in oh about seven months...we had a thing...i don't know what it was it was more than a friendship but not a realtionship, so I'm not sure, but I was so suprised when he remembered my birthday and asked if I was gonna throw a party that weekend or the next, i still don't know, probably combine it with a fourth of july bash or something, but besides that he remembered my ideals and what made me tick. I didn't think he knew me that well...so you know I had to give him kudos for that, i mean we haven't even known each other that long, and at the time i told him these things i think we had known each other for a month or so. He wants to come see me. I don't think I'm ready to see him....

now, my roomie has been bitchy all day, I chalked it up to one of her moods, then tonight, she and I talked, like the friends we were before all of this happened. I didn't realize how much pain she is in and is going through. I also talked to my other friend. She lost her baby today. There is pain all around me, i feel that I should be in pain too. I hate seeing people I love suffer....and the sad thing is I can't console either of them. I have been thinking about my life and the pain I have gone through, it's made me stronger I think, but I also found that I have a regret, and I always say that I never regret anything I do, but this one I do, it's during my gram's funeral, well lack of going, see mom had just had the twins and they needed to be taken care of, so i went along, to the funeral home, and I walkd in , and turned around walking right back out. I never saw my gram, I wish now, that I had looked in the casket, it's the only thing I regret... So much pain and suffering in the world. I wish I could make it stop.

and the last event of the day, was more of an all day event, i did research on the Bible and what it says about tarot, metaphysical things and that sort.....here is what I found and my conclusion (sorta)



GOD, THE CARDS, AND ME
Deuteronomy 18:10-13

Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination, or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium, or spiritist who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD and because of these detestable practices the LORD your GOD will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD.

1. Ok, so when I accepted JESUS as LORD and SAVIOR, I was forgiven of all my sins. That would or I assume should, make me blameless in the eyes of the LORD, correct?
2. Why would it be so detestable to GOD if I was using those things my gifts, to help others?
But then it says…..

Deuteronomy 18:14-22

The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination, but as for you, the LORD has not permitted you to do so. The LORD will raise up a prophet like me from your own brothers. You must listen to him…18.I will put my words in his mouth says the LORD, and he will tell them everything I command….20 but a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods must be put to death. If what a prophet proclaims in the name of GOD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken.

1. Ok, so if that is the case…..I can listen to a prophet who very well could be a fraud, but not listen to the cards which are right about 90% of the time, in my experience, because they are evil.
2. It states that if what a prophet says doesn’t happen its not from god, so does that means since my cards are correct that its GOD showing me what he wants me to know? And if so, then why is HE so dead set against them?
3. Why is it ok to listen to or be a prophet but not a medium, which, in my dictionary is basically the same thing?

Hebrews 13:9

Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not ceremonial foods which are of no value to those who eat them.

1. Doesn’t “strange” seem to fit the whole “eye of the beholder” deal? Because, what is strange to me may not be strange to someone else. Or vise versa, lots of room for interpretation in this one.

Proverbs 11:17, 24

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.

One man gives freely yet gains even more. Another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

Ok, these are only two examples in the book that is the best example of GOD proving to us that what goes around, comes around, which would lead me to believe that HE is talking about KARMA.


PREMONITION: a foreboding, as of impending danger

Now, it seems to me, with that being the definition of premonition, that a lot of people in the Bible have prophetic dreams, or premonitions. They are told to do what the LORD wants in those dreams. Revelations is the biggest example of dream prophesy in the Bible, a whole book is dedicated to one of Paul’s dreams, that ends in disaster, by the way, unless you are saved

1. If Paul did that and could see those things, predicting events far far into the future that he didn’t know would exist and it was ok with GOD, then why, since I have that gift according to other books and scriptures in the Bible, am I not supposed to use it because it didn’t “come from GOD” although HE would have to be ultimately responsible for any gift I have, supernatural or not.


CONCLUSION: I don’t know.

The facts, if they are that, are contradicting themselves. I believe al my questions are somewhat rhetorical ones and I just don’t know (ok, so maybe don’t want to know) the answers to. I think it is ok to use my gifts and powers for good, not evil, but I still don’t know what GOD thinks about these issues. Like I said before, this is VERY contradicting.

Afterthought:
I’m not following or worshiping any other gods or anything else, I’m still bound to GOD even while I’m working with the cards. I ask the HOLY SPIRIT to protect me and guide me in all that I do, so it’s not like I’m doing anything wrong….right?

so thoughts would be helpful