flashbacks

yeah. i had one last night. i never thought it would happen like it did. i just froze up, and no matter how much i reminded myself that this time was different, in every possible way it didn't seem to matter. the scene kept playing over and over in my head and well lets just say it ruined a good night. i don't know why this is coming up now, of all times, i need to be focused and clear but it seems that is eluding me for now. so how do i deal with this ? I don't know. if i did it would be dealt with already. am i doomed to live my life with this haunting me ? if i am i don't know how i will deal. what to do what to do.