size matters

well now, I'm usually "confused" but this time i am "Massively Confuesed" well, not really, but kinda. This guy i met, we'll refer to him as Agent K, wants to date me. Why I ask? well because he thinks i'm beautiful, and likes my personality and yada yada all another ruse i'm sure, to get into my pants. he told me tonight that he dumped his girlfrined and wants to be with me. I think he didn't that he is playing games, and is about to be caught. I also had to ask myself, " if he really really knew me, would he like me, for all that I am and all that I am about to become?" and you know, I had to answer myself with a "probably not" he seems too intense to understand my way of thinking and doing things. I think that would scare him away....hey (l;ight bulb) maybe that's how i need to get rid of him scare him away of me by simply being me, it has happened before. I mean wishing it works too, the three rule and such, but maybe that would be the clincher, cause i'm just not feeling Agent K. oh, and what am i supposed to feel about a 25 year old who has a dead end job, no car, sleeps on someones couch (pays 300 to sleep there too) spends all his money on alcohol and has 2 kids, 2 ex wives and is kinda scary?

on to the next event of the night. I have a stalker. He will be refered to as Agent L. he and i had a thing for one another a few months ago, i made it clear i wanted nothing to do with him, and he seemed to get it then, but i'm not sure it stuck with him, cause last night and tonight, he started grabbing me like he used to and i had to tell him quite a few times to leave me alone. then when i left, he was sitting in his truck waiting for me, and followed me when i left, i had to drive around so he wouldn't follow me home, and do a sweep of the aptment complex before i got out. it was creepy, thank you Agent L for letting me know what "stalking" is all about.

I want to dress up for Halloween and all the girls at the bar are doing it too. I was thinking about going as Raggedy Ann, but then of course, I'd need an Andy. Which brings me to "Agent X". I am wondering if he will say yes, it would be so much fun, like being a kid again. He's just crazy enough and immature enough (regardless of his age...LOL) so to ask or not to ask, well the worst he could say is no right? well ok, HELL NO would probably be more his style. Amazingly enough this is the only man in my life right now that I understand to a point, and am no where near confused about. gotta love "Agent X" but as a friend would say, he is not Mr. Right, but instead, Mr. Right Now.

so i'll sit and wait on Mr. Right, he'll be all i've dreamed of and all i'll ever want, he will love me for all that i am and all that i believe. whether i have to leave this place to find him or he comes to me, he will come.